CABBAGE FOR OLD TIMER’S COW! By
Norris Chambers
I have
been familiar with
cabbage as long as I have been familiar with anything. We raised
cabbage in the
field and we ate it at meal time, either raw or boiled. It was also an
ingredient in the preparation of chow chow, an
addition that adds a
great flavor to pinto beans. The name also provided the name of
an old fiddle tune, Boil Them Cabbage Down, that has
provided the old timers with a tempo for dancing and listening for
many, many
years. This would indicate that boiling cabbage has been a common
practice for
a long time.
For about
the same length of time I have known about raising cabbage I have known
about
cows and the milk they have been generous enough to contribute to
mankind. In
spite of my wide experience with cattle and cabbage I have never seen a
cow eat
cabbage. We have all heard the expression, “How the cow ate the
cabbage!” Old
timers, and some of the modern timers, often threaten to tell someone
how the
cow ate the cabbage. I have never been fortunate enough to have a
dispenser of
information tell me and have never worried much about it.
Clifton and
I used the expression from time to time but we never really told anyone
how it
happened. We didn’t know that a cow would eat cabbage any
differently from
eating turnips, tomatoes or cucumbers from the garden.
It wasn’t
until a few days ago that I finally resorted to solving this mystery.
The
know-it-all Internet offered many solutions. The meaning of the
expression
seemed to be that the one explaining how the cabbage-eating cow
consumed her
cabbage wasn’t talking about a cow at all. It was intended to get
the ignorant
party thinking in the right direction on some other pertinent question.
The
origin of the term dated back to some old lady who called the cops and
reported
a cow in her garden eating her cabbage. She told them that the cow was
pulling
up the cabbage in a very peculiar way. She was wrapping her tail around
them
and after lifting them from the row was slapping the whole head in her
mouth
and gulping them down!
The
policeman who answered the phone had to see this so he hurried out to
her
place. He was shocked to find a stray elephant pulling the cabbage up
with his
trunk and eating it. No cow was involved in the unusual violation but
the
explanation of how the cow ate the cabbage did not die. Therefore, if
you want
to get someone reprimanded about a questionable action, you can tell
him how
the cow ate the cabbage. It is not necessary to refer to the partially
blind
lady and the elephant. All you have to do is correct his thinking and
you have
told him how the cabbage was eaten by the cow!
We always
had a row of cabbage in the garden. All of the animals on the farm
liked it and
the old timers at the table considered it an excellent food during its
season.
Clifton and I and our fishing friends always took a head or two of
fresh
cabbage when we made one of our frequent over-night fishing trips to
Pecan
Bayou or Red Creek!
These
fishing trips were a well-planned excuse to stay up all night around a
big camp
fire. We always took plenty of food with us as well as an adequate
supply of
coffee. In addition to the food we carried with us we had fresh cat
fish from
the trot lines and sometimes a tasty squirrel or two on the side. Many
times a
block of ice and an ice cream freezer provided a cooling treat. A big
head or
two of cabbage boiling down in a pot was a seasonal treat that was
always a
welcome item on our menu!
The old
timers said it is always darkest just before the dawn. On one
particular trip
to the bayou we began our preparations for the homeward trip during the
darkest
part of the dawn, just when the fire was burning low and the food was
about all
gone. There was still a half head of cabbage in the pot and a few
pieces of
fish in a skillet. Clifton asked if anyone wanted any more cabbage.
Since no
one answered affirmatively he pulled the big hunk out of the pot on a
fork and
began eating. He had eaten about half of it when he suddenly pulled it
away
from his mouth and held it close to the coals of fire for a better
view. He was
spitting and gagging and carrying on like a sick horse.
“Ohhh!” he complained, “I
just ate over half of a big cabbage worm!” Everyone started
laughing except
Clifton. Clyde commented, “At least it was well done!”
Everyone
except Clifton thought it was funny. Clifton did think it was funny
when he
threw the cabbage in the dying fire and a glowing coal popped out and
landed on
Clyde’s foot. |